also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
