He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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