dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
