do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
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So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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