Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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