i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
