guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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