it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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