They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
