I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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