the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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