The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You are the jesus of drinking
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
