physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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