How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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