The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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