I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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