Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
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I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
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I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more