He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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