So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
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I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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