remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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