She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
