I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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