i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
