I'm going to jail i love you
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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