Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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