I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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