i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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