weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
