omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
