Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
