Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
