Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
