What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
A+ Viking dick
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize