you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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