Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
