Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
