the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
