I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
