Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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