Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
