Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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