Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
