I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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