I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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