I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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