stop calling my apartment porn island.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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