Michael Bay diarrhea
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
