Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
