worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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