before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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