It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
