Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
