Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
