WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
