I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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