my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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