remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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