Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize