Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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