So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
