There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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